My heart is just so tired
I had a client say that to me this week. It struck me because of its deep authenticity “My heart is just so tired.” Perhaps you feel the squeeze in the pit of your stomach, too. “My heart is just so tired.”
The past several weeks we have watched from a safe distance the turmoil that Covid19 has been causing around the world. We watched with curiosity and maybe a bit of concern. But we went about our daily lives. And then seemingly in the blink of an eye everything changed. The virus is here. Our way of life is interrupted. Our security fractured. And so we go from curiosity to fear. And we seek answers. No, we demand answers to how this went from a distant news story to a crippling pandemic.
How often do we have these same “blink of eye” situations within our personal lives? Life can be going along and then all of a sudden a pandemic consumes your very soul. Friends become strangers. Jobs become prisons. Homes become islands. And you find yourself holding on to the ledge of life with the tips of your fingers. Why? Because your heart is just so tired.
Friends, this life is not meant to be experienced alone. It’s meant to be shared with people of all kinds. Even in this time of social distancing, we need each other. Scripture tells us that God created woman because he saw it was not good for man to be alone. Throughout the existence of humankind, relationships have been a profoundly important part of God’s plan for us.
Unfortunately, we take these relationships for granted far too often. Instead of facing issues, we ignore them. Instead of healing hurts, we build walls. Over time friendships die, families split, and bitterness sets in. We bury emotions and assumptions deep within our heart, trying in vain to keep the cracks from becoming craters that the world can see. And we cry out, “My heart is just so tired.” It’s tired because it simply cannot do this life alone.
My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends. You are my friends if you do what I command. I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. — John 15:12-15
Like my client, I too find my heart just so very tired. But oh how glorious it is to know that we are not in this alone. Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is with us, bearing our burdens, hearing our cries, and catching our tears. Whether you find your heart tired because of the external pandemic or your own internal one, you are not alone.